free association

Buy The Spider King's Daughter here • Read this article, and let me know how it makes you feel

When I was seventeen I still didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. At twenty-more than-one, I have stopped trying to figure it out. (I lie.) I take each day as it comes and I try to draw comfort from the knowledge that I can not control anything.

The book launch was great. I was really excited to be there. She remembered me - smile - she called me the t-name - cringe - but luckily I corrected that in time for the signature, the message of which really warmed my heart - absolute truth.

I walked out with the feeling that I'd left something behind forever, finally. It was bittersweet. The definition of that word has something to do with relief and ... remorse? I think so. If it doesn't, it should.

I hung out with three of my classmates the weekend before. One asked me, "How many times have you been in love?" I didn't know the answer. I said twice, but I think that was a half-truth. I think it is also never, and also forever.

I'm glad to be home. I'm afraid to be home. I keep thinking of my tiny room, with my tiny bed, in the terribly cold weather that freezes my scalp to dried flakes, and calling it 'home'. This scares me more.

Peter Blegvad said, "Cultivate your flaws; they're the only unique thing about you."
I think your fears are a much richer source of inspiration.

Freud says there is no cure to symptoms, they only get transferred. I get that. Which, of course, means that I have transferred my fear of not understanding it to my primitive need to kill my father and sleep with my mother. Wait - that's not right.

I can still hear Alina's voice saying, "I don't buy it."

Chibundu Onuzo reading from her novel

Signing my copy :)