Today will be different!

In her dreams she’s alive. She runs, she jumps, she flies. Her hair blows about in the wind, her skin tingles in the frosty air. Her breath is quick and sharp as it counts the seconds, and her feet slap the ground beneath in a rhythmic beat.

She says everything she wants to say, without killing it with her thoughts and crippling herself with her fears. She lives, in the moment, because that is all she has, and all she can count on. Every minute marks the active pursuit of her dreams, her real dreams, until she wakes up.

Her mind opens before her eyes do, and she clings hard to the moments before, the clarity of unconsciousness that is more real than anything around her. She goes over the contents of her wishes, marks them up against the blankness of her life, and she closes her eyes again. She can hear her breath; she can smell the musty air of her room. She can taste the sour tang of failure.

Today, she says. Today will be different! She stays where she is, she dares not move. If she does yesterday might come back, and yesterday might win, and the best part of today would have been the one in her dream. So she fights.

Her eyes outline the minutes, the seconds. She sees herself on her feet. She feels the wind from outside, she hears herself speak with certainty and clarity. She has a plan, she has the will, she has…

Fallen asleep.