We need a Chris Rock joke here

You've heard the news about the Nigerian parents who've been locked up, yes? Let's take a peek into their household:

Mum is yelling.

"Am I the first woman to have children? You children will not kill me in this house. I brought you into this world and I can take you out. Can't you hear your sister crying? Come on, go and change her nappy! And who is going to cook, ehn? Or you expect me to use my broken hand to turn eba? What are you children for if not to help me? Useless, all of you! Ehn? Are you hissing at me? The devil will not use you in this house. I will beat that devil out of you."

Later that night...

I hate my mum. She makes me do all the work, and then she beats me when I don't finish everything. I wish I had a new mummy. 

"What is this you're writing?" mum yells.

Uh oh. I jump, tear the page out and throw it out of the window.

"Nothing, mummy!"

"It better be nothing," Mum says, "go and change your sister. I'm going to wash up." She slams the door and walks out.

-----

Let's examine the evidence.

"The Nigerian couple... claimed their children were possessed by evil spirits..."

"The children were rescued after their eldest daughter threw a heart-wrenching SOS note out of a window... The heartbreaking plea read, 'My mum is the worst mum ever because she can't cope with the five of us, her broken hand, and being pregnant... If I don't get enough work done, I'm beaten without mercy with the wooden end of a broom... I would like a new mom.'"

DISCLAIMER: This is a child-abuse-free zone.

But you know you wrote that note too, right? I wanted a new mom until I was like, seventeen. Then I grew up.

Whose mum whupped they ass when they talked back/ ate too much/ ate too little/ didn't answer when they were called/ didn't walk fast enough/ didn't walk slow enough/ cried when they were whupped/ when they sniffled... etc? 

My mum still prays against evil spirits in her children's lives. 

But it sounds terrible in writing, doesn't it? 

And, facts are facts, so it wouldn't be at all difficult to give disgruntled kids a few doughnuts or lollipops (ice-cream!) and get them to describe in detail the way daddy chased them around the room with a broomstick.

Yes, maybe these parents were particularly negligent. They were in the uk, with more kids than my father had, no external help - and more stringent childcare laws. It couldn't have been easy - and I have no explanation for the morphine - but I can't help but feel a little sorry for them.

What happens to the kids now? They go into foster care. *shudders*