I know one person in my entire life who lives by love. I've never understood it.
You choose to smile when you could be angry, you choose to be kind when you could be haughty, you choose to be there when you could be busy, you choose to care when you could be normal and human like the rest of us, and shut down, and be closed off and build a wall around yourself so that no one can get to you.
You are not perfect, but you live love.
There's so much about that that I want to learn, that I have wanted to learn; but it's hard to understand why anyone would choose to love when it only leaves them open to hurt. It doesn't seem logical, it doesn't seem sane. What's the catch?
There must be something we've done to earn this love, because no one is perfect and caring and honest and no one really loves unconditionally, not truly.
What would that even look like? What does that even mean?
Everyone in my entire life has required something of me in order to give something back to me. And if they haven't I've thought they did, because I have required something of them in order to share myself with them, and everything I've given I've counted out deliberately, and then written off as a bad debt when returns were low.
I have been afraid, everyday, with every new commitment and every new bond, that we were on a timer, and that they would soon collect. And when they did, there'd be nothing there and they'd realise I was a fraud, and they'd leave me. I'd be the bad debt.
So how do you love, how can you love? What is it that makes you so certain of yourself that you can give yourself away so freely, even when you get nothing back? Even when you get hurt back?
Why do you love, what's in it for you?
You are the one person in my entire life that has showed me that love is not conditional. You have hurt me and been angry at me, but you've never stopped caring. And I thank you for that.
There are many people around me who show me what looks like love, what I'd like to believe is love, and they may even be offering it to me without a clause. But I don't know how not to worry.
When I am afraid I think about you, and then I'm afraid that one day, you'll realise there's nothing here. Because when you give, you expect to receive in return, isn't that the law of the world?
But that is not the law of love.
Love does not require romance to be present to be real. Love is there, whether I reach out to it or not. It gives without thought of what it would get in return. It is kind, without considering what other people think. It is not perverse, is not selfish, is not angry, is not hurtful, is not calculating, is not miserly, is not dependent on anything but itself, to be.
I cannot pretend to understand, or to be capable of that same love - not yet, anyway, - but I am thankful for it. There's nothing perfect about you, but that love sha, you live your life by it, and it is something great to be around.
You choose to smile when you could be angry, you choose to be kind when you could be haughty, you choose to be there when you could be busy, you choose to care when you could be normal and human like the rest of us, and shut down, and be closed off and build a wall around yourself so that no one can get to you.
You are not perfect, but you live love.
There's so much about that that I want to learn, that I have wanted to learn; but it's hard to understand why anyone would choose to love when it only leaves them open to hurt. It doesn't seem logical, it doesn't seem sane. What's the catch?
There must be something we've done to earn this love, because no one is perfect and caring and honest and no one really loves unconditionally, not truly.
What would that even look like? What does that even mean?
Everyone in my entire life has required something of me in order to give something back to me. And if they haven't I've thought they did, because I have required something of them in order to share myself with them, and everything I've given I've counted out deliberately, and then written off as a bad debt when returns were low.
I have been afraid, everyday, with every new commitment and every new bond, that we were on a timer, and that they would soon collect. And when they did, there'd be nothing there and they'd realise I was a fraud, and they'd leave me. I'd be the bad debt.
So how do you love, how can you love? What is it that makes you so certain of yourself that you can give yourself away so freely, even when you get nothing back? Even when you get hurt back?
Why do you love, what's in it for you?
You are the one person in my entire life that has showed me that love is not conditional. You have hurt me and been angry at me, but you've never stopped caring. And I thank you for that.
There are many people around me who show me what looks like love, what I'd like to believe is love, and they may even be offering it to me without a clause. But I don't know how not to worry.
When I am afraid I think about you, and then I'm afraid that one day, you'll realise there's nothing here. Because when you give, you expect to receive in return, isn't that the law of the world?
But that is not the law of love.
Love does not require romance to be present to be real. Love is there, whether I reach out to it or not. It gives without thought of what it would get in return. It is kind, without considering what other people think. It is not perverse, is not selfish, is not angry, is not hurtful, is not calculating, is not miserly, is not dependent on anything but itself, to be.
I cannot pretend to understand, or to be capable of that same love - not yet, anyway, - but I am thankful for it. There's nothing perfect about you, but that love sha, you live your life by it, and it is something great to be around.
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