Oh.

My dad came home from work. I live rent-free in his house, so, of course, I partake in my share of chores and assistant wifery duties. Sometimes, this requires me to roll up my sleeves and shuffle about in the kitchen until sufficently edible things appear, but for the most part it is simply a supervisory role.

When it is a supervisory role, I take the entire thing rather lightly. There will be food, however the arrangement, plating and presentation couldn't concern me any less.

What I seem to forget is that the arrangement of plates and cutlery is actually indicative to my father about the degree of readiness of his dinner. And what he seems to forget is that I still use the old plating style and have not upgraded to ios10 (because, didn't ios 9 point whatever just come out ten minutes ago?) Apple and my mum have that in common.

So when he came back from work and didn't sit down to eat I assumed he had other things to do, until he came down an hour later, fetched his food from it's regular holding cell (the microwave) and said, "You didn't tell me my food was ready."

I said, "But your plate was here, all covered up. I assumed you had something else to do."

And he said, "No, plates doesn't mean food, everything has to be on the table. That's what means food."

And I said, "Ah, for me, the napkin over the plate means food."

And he said, "No, that doesn't mean food, my food was not on the table."

And I said, "Maybe when mummy is around it's different. But me, o."

And he humphed.

And then I thought, "Oh."

I should have said, "Sorry, daddy, is there anything I can help you with? I'm so sorry, it must have slipped my mind." That's what a good wife/daughter (wife-in-training)/ non-cantankerous person should have said.

Because his wife isn't home and he's alone and he must miss her. Right?

And he's hungry and has had a long day at work. Right?

And what was the point of engaging him in that discussion argument, when the point was the point. Right?

And I thought about my friends, who are like me, who love to have their own say.

And I thought about the times we sometimes fuss, because we just need a break.

And I thought about little opportunities for kindness that we miss out on, because we're so used to covering our behinds and talking back.

I didn't want to have been caught out doing something wrong, because then I would feel guilty.

But he just wanted to have dinner after a long day.

And now I feel guilty, anyway. Because, you know, I could have just said sorry. 

(So then I went to talk to him, and I said, how are you, and he said, well. Long day. And I made nothing noises, and he said thank you. So I feel better, and I suppose he feels better, and it all feels strange how much I'm growing up and learning grownup things.)