Just Keep Swimming

Today was dramatic.

I slept well but woke up worrying. Started the day trying to fight the worry and ended up worrying even more. All I could think of was the time I was wasting, the things I wasn’t doing, every single way I was failing and how I’d basically spent my life sabotaging every opportunity I’d ever gotten.
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The only thing I felt God say was: just keep going. #FindingNemo style, “Just keep swimming.”
It’s only when you stop kicking that you drown.
So keep kicking.
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Fear is both intelligent and irrational. It presents us with the most plausible arguments for the lies it brings.
“Think through it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did God really say?”
“Is it time?”
And sometimes it tempts us to answer on God’s behalf. Sometimes arrogantly (because we know how to get revelation), carelessly (because we have memorised bible verses), or fearfully (because we’re worried about looking like we don’t know.)
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That’s how the serpent got Eve: she relied on her knowledge of God rather than inviting Him into the conversation.
Like, “Did God really say? Hmm you know what I’m pretty sure but hold on a minute let me ask Him right quick.” That would have been the end of that conversation! ❌🐍❌
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Today, for me, it came down to this:
Yes, God did say. But more than that, I’m not afraid to ask Him again. And again. And again. Because He’s my Father and I’m not afraid of Him.
I’m not afraid to hear His Voice.
And I’m not afraid to sit at His Feet and tell Him I’m not sure sometimes. And I want to give up sometimes. And I’m afraid I’ll give up again like I’ve done so many other times.
I’m not afraid to talk to my Daddy because He loves me.
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ME - not “us” - because, yes, He loves us all, but He also loves us INDIVIDUALLY, uniquely, specifically, INTENTIONALLY.
He knows our history together. He knows all the times I messed up so He knows the lies the devil is dangling in front of me. He knows how I think, the jokes I like, the people in my life. He knows my vocabulary, so He knows the words to say to me so that I’ll actually pay attention😅. He knows my moods and He knows how to lift me out of them.
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And He never gets tired of me. My wahala is never too much for Him. He LOVES me.💕

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